i-have-a-prayer

being atheist does not mean lack of attention or

reflection of grace in life. i am complicit in by the grace of life; bittersweet. and

wonder sometimes; if some one

who-does-not-believe in your god;

not wonder of why i have a prayer.

By grace i have a prayer; by graced reflection i have a prayer; i have a prayer like revolution of grace; like shadows of sunlight; i have a prayer like this sword though stone; i have a prayer through pain’s curse or lesson; cursing doubt of courage; i have a prayer.

My voice. my prayer as faith real or fancied; i have a prayer like a paper-cut spatter over the wall i wear or lean on; i have a prayer for anyone who will listen.

i have a prayer louder if you insist.

i have a prayer.

i have a silent prayer.

i have a prayer like the scream

of a rabbit in the jaws of death.

i have a prayer from tears shed by tears of pride’s angst.

i have a prayer of love; i have a

silent prayer.

i have a prayer for those who believe. for every Brother.

i have a prayer with no strength.;

i have a prayer that fucks war.

i have a prayer;

Silence can be deadly;

i have a prayer; need not believe;

i have a prayer you can; believe; i believe

i have a prayer. i have a silent prayer.

i have a prayer killing power through dignity;

i have a prayer for mothers and fathers who have prayed

or cursed the sky.

i have a silent prayer that refuses to go quietly;

i have a prayer though naivety by knowing

what i do not know at all. i have a prayer;

please know i have a prayer.

when i am alone i have a prayer;

among friends or strangers; i have a prayer;

i have a silent prayer

:being the mother of a combat veteran reminds me how precious life is; being the mother of a combat veteran wounded in war; as a mom’s a dizzying incomprehensible place to be.

i don’t know what to fucking say.

i want to say everything;

i get IT and realize i have no clue. i have a prayer;

being the mother of a combat veteran

has no measure of time

no measure of status or faith or why

ihaveaprayer . and

this mom of a US Marine has a prayer i have a prayer a silent prayer. i have a prayer not secret but sacred; i am the mother of a combat veteran with survivors guilt; i am a mom who prays my son outlive me; i have a prayer; i have a silent prayer

I Am Not Afraid of Your God.

Love, AE

______________________

written 08July2018

Godspeed my son

31 Dec 1989 – 01 Dec 2024